ANALYZE THIS

Unlike War and Peace which is obviously a piss-poor title

Famed writing coach Halle Berry being inspiring. Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons

Who wouldn’t fall asleep over a dumb little phrase like War and Peace? Tolstoy wanted to call it A Bunch of Overfed Muscovite Aristocrats Fart Around Having Affairs until Napoleon Kicks Their Asses and Then the Russian Winter Kicks His Ass¹ but his publisher nixed it. …

GET THE WOKE DONE!

As the lone note-taker this week it fell on BOFace

Image by chenspec on Pixabay. Pixabay License

Don’t you love that title? Nice and boring — perfect for Medium.

We began our meeting without the stabilizing influence of the Dear Leader, our feared pirate captain, the notorious Susan Brearley. She caught some bug from an Airbnb guest. It seemed herself awaited the result of her COVID test…

LIVER ME TIMBERS

Living a liver lie

Pixabay

Ee-e-e-ew Liver!

Ee-e-e-e-e-w!

I think I’m gonna puke!

E-e-e-e-e-e-e-www!

Ch-ch-ch-ch! Augh!

Ee-e-e-e-w, disgusting!

Along with every other fourth grader, I grabbed the PB&J option whenever liver and onions appeared behind the glass partition in the cafeteria at School Street School in Ramsey, New Jersey. The lunch ladies behind the partition — actual glass in those days — called…

FEAR AND TREMBLING

This year’s dyspeptic rant concerning Handel’s Messiah

This guy looks like a tenor. You’re hired, buddy! LeedsSinger99, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

The audience is always right

As December begins, community choirs all over the country, maybe the world even, put the finishing touches on their upcoming performances of Handel’s famous oratorio, Messiah, composed in 1741. Unless you live under a rock you are familiar with this masterpiece, in particular the Hallelujah chorus, which has been in…

BOFace

No woman ever murdered her husband while he was washing the dishes.

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