SPLISH SPLASH I WAS TAKIN’ A BATH

Legal Notice: There is no advice of any kind given in or implied by this article. If you electrocute yourself don’t come crying to me!

Were I on the jury, I would totally award a bazillion dollars to the widow of the guy who took a bath with his new toaster oven. Nowhere in the safety precautions that came with my new toaster oven does it say anything about keeping it away from the bathtub.

Yet the list of precautions is nearly as terrifying as the list of possible side effects for the COVID vaccine. Did you read it? I…

Rejection sucks. Don’t I know it.

I sucked so bad at sports that my torments included not just being picked last but having the team captains fight over who would be forced to take me on. Being one player short was preferable to having me on the team. I really sucked.

For the duration of my hetero-normative early adolescence, I crushed on girls who thought me the biggest dweeb ev-er. On top of all that, my father was a workaholic and my mother was an alcoholic so rejection is sort of my middle name.

Nor am I any stranger to…

g’FILtehfish!

I am never so happy as when eating peanut butter from the jar with a spoon. I’d dig in with my finger but if my wife caught me at it she’d be grossed out even though she never eats peanut butter. So what’s the problem? Perhaps the thought of guests serving themselves or being served from that contaminated jar. Me, I go with Julia Child. “No one will know!”

Passover. I love Passover! I’m not Jewish, but being married to a Jew is something like being one, especially if your spouse is observant. The Moon of my Life is observant…

EDITORIAL HUMOR

I don’t care because I know already. What, you thought I didn’t know? I don’t know who you are specifically, but I know you are out there complaining that I’m holding up your lame-ass article because of a run-on sentence. You could bisect ten such sentences in a fraction of the time it took you to write your whinging complaint message, but far be it from me to tell you what to do right?

You could have found out for yourself what to do by perusing the articles under the “Outlaws” tab, in which case you…

Q’S REVIEWS

Like my old buddy John DeVore I just love action shows. The two named in the subtitle above have it all. Car/motorcycle chases, gunfights, over-the-top martial arts action — checkcheck, check, check.

Let’s not forget high-tech wizardry. In the case of Sisyphus it’s time travel, in that of Rugal, bio-mechanical implants.

Oh, and bad guys. Certainly an important ingredient. Rugal features the powerful criminal gang Argos. “Pure evil” simply doesn’t get the job done. Rugal opens with one of the most gruesome, gut-wrenching knife attacks in all of television, setting the stage for I-Live-Only-For-Revenge plotting. In the case of Sisyphus…

OLD IS OLD

Whoever came up with the euphemisms “Elderly” and “Senior Citizen” can put them “where the sun don’t shine” as they say nowadays.

In this I have most decidedly turned into my father, of blessed memory. I can still hear him: “I’m not a senior citizen! I’m an old man! I’m proud to be an old man! Being an old man means I didn’t do any of the dumb-assed things that get you killed when you are young! Or I quit them, like with smoking and drinking! Being an old man means” etc etc. He could go on and on, I…

I’m a geek through and through, a hard-core geek you might say. Viruses fascinate me — complex particles straddling the ill-defined border between life and non-life. Having slaked my geek appetite mightily over the past year on Virology and vaccines I know how mRNA vaccines such as the Pfizer work. I also know something about how vaccines like the Johnson & Johnson work so when I was at the dentist getting my implant bridge installed and the subject of the J & J came up I seized the opportunity to let my geek flag fly:

Fun geek activity: Drop the…

UNREQUITED LOVE

Forgive me for my brief inattention my darling ❤Medium Android app❤, but I must first hasten to reassure Caren White that the reason I didn’t read Trump is Attempting a Comeback has nothing to do with her or with the quality of her writing.