And here I thought you were going to objectively disprove religions, whatever that might mean. Instead you attacked the usual collection of straw men. Strangely, however, you left out the virgin birth. Actually science could go a long way toward disproving “spirituality” by demonstrating that spiritually aware states are associated with the production of serotonin or something similar.

But leaving that all aside and identifying myself as one with an extensive scientific education who goes to church, that is, who went to church regularly until mid March (a handful of my church peeps maintain a weekly Zoom based prayer meeting), I’m going to try to explain, however humbly, why I do it.

Several years back I had a very intense religious experience while singing in a Gospel choir. When my feet returned to the ground I realized that I had a choice. I could explain away my experience on the basis of neuro-chemistry, or I could see where this newfound path might lead. The former is very much a guy thing. I went to a party the next night at which I described what had happened to me. The guys (it was mostly a guy party) were all about neuro-chemicals, blah blah blah. I spoke in the kitchen to the host’s wife (ein freundin von mir) and we agreed that it was something like love. If you asked, “what is love?” and you received an answer involving neuro-chemicals it might be technically correct but such an answer would be unsatisfying because it would be beside the point.

Something similar happens when we talk about free will. It is impossible to demonstrate that it exists or does not exist. In fact, free will is such a slippery little devil that it may never be possible to do so. Yet it is central to the idea of being human. I don’t know about you, but if someone were to demonstrate to me that, in the words of Dostoyevsky, “some day they calculate and prove to me that I made a long nose at someone because I could not help making a long nose at him and that I had to do it in that particular way,”¹ I would feel, like him, that there was barely any reason to put one foot in front of the other, if everything I am going to do is known thirty years in advance.

Spirituality, free will, love. “…although our life, in this manifestation of it, is often worthless, yet it is life and not simply extracting square roots.”²

L’chayim.

¹Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground, chapter VIII

² ibid.