High school locker showers might not have been any worse for me than any other aspect of high school (a very low bar) but then they were part of gym, that is, the abyss. There was one old guy on the gym faculty who never taught any classes. His whole job seemed to be “shower monitor.” Creepy.

I used to get naked at pagan festivals all the time in fact it was my favorite part of the scene. But I was beautiful then. Along with other beautiful young men I’d jump over bonfires naked and stoned.

Now I understand that the street band I recently joined does retreats involving hot tubs. At sixty-nine gravity has had its way with me. I hope they’re prepared. I bike everywhere so I still have a nice ass — that’s something, or at least, not nothing.