Like everything else, including God, the pebble becomes part of our story as soon as we pick it up. Before that, it may have well not have existed. Before we knew the story of Pangea, that didn't exist either. I might pick up the pebble and skip it on the water, never thinking about Pangea.
Everything we know, everything we are is a story. I recall my kindergarten teacher Miss Rothpletz. Yet the body in which I recall it has been replaced, cell by cell, numerous times since I was five years old. I maintain the story of my life, despite the fact, if it is a fact, that each time I remember a piece of it I'm remembering the last time I remembered it: We are engaged in a continuous game of telephone with ourselves. Undoubtedly (I don't know if you have been following the story on my feed) I remember my ex-wife as far more attractive than she actually was. It makes for a better story. She was very far from bad-looking though. I recently came into possession of some photos.
We have stories we can choose or be born into, or, in this modern world, reject, such as the story of God. I go to church nearly every Sunday, sometimes more often. Yet I cannot but conclude that if God is truly merciful, then when we die it's lights out. Humanity is not built for eternity
The logic is not only inescapable but backed up by biblical text. "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain:"¹ Oblivion satisfies those conditions. Nothing in there about fun stuff! You have to advance two verses before you even get a drink.²
Some imagine reunion with departed relatives but I cannot imagine a better depiction of Hell than that.
So why do I do it? Go to church, that is, if not for the hope of heaven? If I want awe, why not wander around in the nearest national park being awestruck at nature?
I like human company for one thing. I also like singing, and Christianity contains a magnificent musical culture. Yes I can partake of that in other ways and I do. But I also join this story of radical acceptance, of a being who took on the worst humanity had to offer at the time he walked the earth, for what? Me? I needed that? To reconcile myself, with all my brokenness, to God? This is where it gets mysterious and hard to explain. I try at times. However that may be I consume the Eucharist and we touch.
More detailed than that I can't get right now. Hey, I get it that a lot of Christian churches are money-minting scams, and a long way from being radically accepting. But I found such people as Nadia Bolz-weber and such places as Grace Episcopal Church in Providence, a good place for all sorts of queers, and where you can get free music lessons for your children. They will learn to read music and have a blast doing so.
Where I can float ideas such as the above, along with the notion of the indebtedness of Christianity to the Mediterranean mystery religious circulating at the time of its inception, and not be shown the door.
We are creatures of story. Without story life would mean nothing, would cease to exist. Society is a story. Money is a story. Science is a story. You are a story. Are you going to tell me society, money, science, and you do not exist?
God exists. I know it because I have chosen to be part of that story. A little mystery can keep us humble, and as such it is good for the soul. Which exists, by the way. If it didn't we wouldn't be talking this shit. Margaret Thatcher once said society doesn't exist, but as with so much else, all that individualism bullshit, she was full of it. Money is obviously a story. If we didn't believe in it, if we all suddenly became money atheists, the world order would collapse. Maybe that would be a good thing. The story of money has become, however sweet for the few, toxic and cruel for the many. As such it is like The Church during the medieval period. No one could imagine a world without its dominance, yet here we are, in a world dominated by money. Who can imagine a world without money? Maybe we wouldn't have such a hard time if we shook off the story that the money system was preceded by the barter system. It wasn't. It was preceded by credit, that is, trust, and by gift-giving, that is, obligation.³
God I've gone on a long time. I've been trying to sort all this out and shape it into an article, so thank you for your indulgence, if you made it this far. After all this is, Medium, the place for stories.
¹ Rev. 21:4
² Rev. 21:6
³ According to Charles Eisenstein. I believe he may be on to something.
