OK.
When I was in my 20s, fate gifted me two or so years during which I had almost all black friends. Such parties! Such barbecues! Such music! Such church! Such dances! At one such dance I’d had rather too much to drink. I was hanging out in a stairwell with some guys I sort of knew. They slung the enword about with giddy abandon.

I thought, "Shall I join this repartee?"

I like to think of myself as a rational person. Thinking back on this incident, I believe it's true because even in my inebriated state, I stopped myself long enough to consider possible outcomes.
Would they turn to me in shock and anger proceed to beat the shit out of me? Would this new fun life crash down about my head, leaving me kicking myself with humiliated regret for years and years?
My life at that point was way more fun than I would have thought possible when I was bored and lonely and my favorite song was Richie Havens’ "End of the Season." My favorite song in my new life was probably "Love Train" by the O'Jays.
Everyone is an idiot when they are young, but in that moment God granted me a reprieve through the agency of my rational mind.