So not a baseball fan but I loved this. Maybe because. As in all the humiliation I suffered on account of baseball as a what-is-now-called middle schooler. I want to see those zillionaire team owners begging for government subsidies on the basis of we gotta preserve this American icon. Or something. It would make for great American absurdist theater. They demand tax and zoning breaks to build stadiums so why not?

Whatever the fuck that minor league team was that used to be in Providence split for Worcester because for once our government did the right thing and refused their extortionate demands.

Oh yeah it was the Paw Socks. Paw as in the stadium was actually in Pawtucket, shares a border with Providence, and Sox (this time I spelled it right — like I care) as in farm team for the Red Sox. Well fuck them, and fuck baseball. May the players keep their beer bellies decently covered, and may soccer grind the whole sorry mess into the dust. At least I didn’t totally suck at that as an adolescent.

I see the making of an article here! I bet I could squeeze a three-minute read out of it.