When I was much younger I tried being a vegetarian. There were no vegans then. After like 2 days all I could think about was how good a cheeseburger would taste right now. Needless to say I gave up.

I eat meat in restaurants. At home I rarely do because my wife does the bulk of the shopping and she buys a lot of TVP items. Patties, meatballs, “crumbles”, you name it. I figured out how to make TVP cheeseburgers using everything bagels that are damn near as good as the real thing. Or I saute the crumbles with onions and mushrooms and add black soy and thick soy (1 or 2 TBS each, or maybe 3 even) when it’s about halfway done. Yum! No TVP for T-day though. That’s going to involve a genuine dead bird.

I haven’t tried impossible burgers yet, have you?

For environmental cred I bike everywhere. If anyone gives me shit about eating meat I find out if they are a regular driver. If not then I have no defense.