You've nothing to feel guilty about. Some countries got it right & so not as many died. In my benighted country 1 out of every 500 people have died and a substantial majority still won't take the hint. There's a highway billboard near me that says masks in school should be optional because "Zero pediatric COVID deaths" in Rhode Island. I wish I had the nerve to get up there with paint & brush and deface it with something like, "So can we keep it that way, you morons?" I'm sure it would be at least a misdemeanor though.